A Marriage is an essential part of the Nigerian Culture, which is highly valued across different social class that forms collections or groups of people. It is also an important part of life pivoted through custom and traditions, as it is believed to be the basis upon which every one in the larger society are rooted from. As such, it is taken very serious than you could imagine, especially for would be grooms or husbands.
And because it is one thing for a girl to say “Yes, I will marry you”, it is another thing for the family to say double “Yes, we are giving you our daughter to marry”.
So many wouldn’t want to joke with acceptability. A wise saying even says that you may be able to cope with a bad wife/husband, coping with bad family will be hard, hence why parents always want to help their children to see better with age and experience.
Parents are very observant as better adults, so they watch salient things in their potential son or daughter suitors, even from the first day.
For example, In a Yoruba movie I once watched, Popular Actor Odunlade Adekola brought a wayward and witch girlfriend to his prayerful mum (Peju Ogunmola), and every time the mother prays or says anything, the lady would quickly shout “Amin Jesu, Amin Jesu”. Lol. The smart mother had to watch her keenly and decide to ask wonderful questions that it later became glaring that girl doesn’t even know Jesus from miles away, even without prayers. Smiles!
So, to make everything easy, there are certain things you need to know, just like when going for Job Interviews – when meeting your in-law to be, as Nigerians.
Just like meeting anybody for the first time, a lot of people get nervous, especially when you have heard so much about them. So, it is either you are looking forward to actually very happy to be meeting them or you’re simply getting scared to. Whichever one it is, you sure wouldn’t want to disappoint your ancestors, so you have to come prepared because whatever you say on first meeting day or how you look, can be make or mar you thereon.
So, be sure of what to expect, especially when money isn’t speaking for you. Lol.
Naturally, your mind will keep troubling itself on many things, like what if they don’t like my face, what if my hometown is where they beheaded one of the heads of my in-law’s great ancestors, what if I dont look spiritually serious for their child? Lol
These, and many questions are stuff anyone will be worrying about. But with experience, below here are 5 random or typical questions you will most likely going to be asked as a potential suitor in your Yoruba in-laws house.
1. Where are you from young man? This is most likely the very first question to meet especially if you are marrying from core traditional families. Even parents that are not tribalists will still ask this. It’s just a golden piece of information that they need at least to tell other family members where they’re marrying from. For others, it is a serious question to gauge their already laid barrier. Lol. Some people lineage has rich history of trouble making.. God help you, if you don’t have any name to protect again. Lol.
2. What religion are you practicing: Most Nigerians are very religious and it starts from many homes. As such wants to know if the prospective guy is Goldy or God fearing. It is believed that the fear of God can help anyone to cope with challenges that come with marriages. It takes a Godly man to know it is God that provides children when looking for one after marriage, and not to blame your wife for the reason why she isn’t conceiving yet. So, parents want to know you believe in something above Creatures, and some will appreciate you more if you belong to same faith why some careless. So, even if you are a traditionalists, say it. At least no religion supports unfaithfulness, lies, wife beating etc. It makes them trust you to be capable of looking after their daughter.
3. What do you do for a living? This is the other very important question. As we all know that marrying a wife is not that hard, if not for the financial burden that comes with it. So, this helps parents to know where they’re pushing their daughter to. Even if you have no serious thing you are doing for a living, you must say something oo.. Something like “Baba I just finished school oo, we are still praying for something ni o but I dey manage with something somewhere, I into this and that..” Just package yourself on how your hustle and make money decently in little ways. Good parents will understand except if you are marrying from high class family where money means everything. Then you are done for. Lol
4. Where did you guys meet and how long have you been seeing each other? Lol.. You may not likely miss this question too. This give parents Idea of what brought you together. May be fun, friendship, academics, business etc. Just reply this with wisdom.
If you go and one say funny thing that calls for worries – some parents will be thinking this guy fit don dey chop their daughter for one corner tey tey o. Lol! Parents hate it to hear you that you have been seeing their daughter constantly for years in one unimaginable closeness. Lol. So be smart with how you answer this but don’t lie.
Read more about Hausa marriages from below pictures source https://m.scoopernews.com/detail?newsId=714891
5. Has she been to your family too? Naturally, a guy needs to be accepted by girl’s parents first because you can convince your own parents that this is your own final choice o. But if your parent as a guy have agreed and babe’s parent rejected you. Na ridicule o. Lol. But usually you can do your assignment from home to see the probability of acceptance or coded rejection. It is always fine for your wife or girlfriend, to have visited your home first, especially when you’re having family celebrations or ceremonies, so your siblings and possibly mother can meet her as your friend first. It is the usual style to get the relationship serious or to the next Place.
6. So, What’s your plan now, and why do you come here. Lol. This is a logical question to inquire about your readiness and plans. Ofcourse they know why you are here but just need to hear it from you to be sure they are thinking what you are planning. Just say what you want and take charge before they start deciding for you. Lol! Here, is where the kind of man you will be begins from, a home leader or the one that says everything you say for us is fine sir. Na you born us.
Picture Source: https://ogavenue.com.ng/blog/akwa-ibom-traditional-marriage-requirement/
Lol! Good luck..
Note: Some people go with uncles or friends on first meeting, I don’t think it is cool enough. Going alone with your woman is just fine. It is not introduction day yet.. It is just first meeting.. It should be personal.
And remember, don’t sleep over after everything Lol. Find a place outside even if you can not return. Don’t ask me why.. Lol